Our Muslim sisters should begin to live with the reality of plural marriage, it is a divine rule from our Creator. Once something is Islamic, then it is good. When your husband decides to take a second wife, and you think it is not the best time to do it, sit him down and talk about it. It is not advisable to prevent him from doing what Allah has encouraged, the effect of not allowing polygamous marriage in some communities will lead to problems, and it has led a lot of people to immoral acts.
It is quite unfortunate that some first wives are winking in the dark, you will leave your husband out of it, and you turn your attention to the incoming sisters, throwing insults and assaults at the innocent ladies. Your husband is available for plural marriage and that is why he is proposing marriage to sisters, so concentrate on him, and stop embarrassing yourself. Some first wives have subjected themselves to something else because of plural marriage, they have fought many ladies and still fighting, some have developed mental illness, in the real sense, it is not about love, it is about selfishness, ‘my one and only husband’. As they say, if a man loves his wife so much, he marries one, but if he loves himself, he marries more than one’.
Some Ahlu-sunnah and Salafy sisters are also joining other ladies who do not know the importance of plural marriage to condemn the best type of marriage, one would wonder the relevance of attending madrasah, halqah or usrah, when there is no difference between religious and unreligious sisters. Do not allow those who have legalized fornication, adultery and same sex marriage in their religions, talk about the beautiful structure of polygyny in Islam.
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As the first wife, you have the right to be jealous, you can complain and make a fuss, but it is wrong to frustrate his efforts in practicing plural marriage, it’s not your call. So, attacking the sisters who have taken a bold decision of becoming second, third and fourth wife is unnecessary, they deserve kudos because their mates are into prostitution, ‘side chicks business’ etc. Instead, they choose to be responsible, approach marriage within the confine of the Islamic religious practices, you should not be an obstacle to something good.
There are some uncultured ladies, they are not always decent, treating themselves like side chicks, having uncensored conversations with married men, sex chats, exchange of nude pictures among others, these are ladies without discipline, and expectedly, the first wives will not respect them. However, your husbands are not feeling fine too, because on many occasions, they ask for free sex outside marriage. But if the sister is decent, religious and well mannered, tolerate her, she is your sister in Islam.
If you leave your marriage for other important reasons that may be dangerous to your life, it is good, but it is not a good decision if you abandon the institution of marriage because your husband decides to take another wife. A responsible and Godly husband will treat you well even if he marries another wife, so, from inception, marry a good man on merit, not emotions.
Polygyny is a system put in place to accommodate the needs of the sisters designed for men that are responsible, while is a whole lot of responsibilities for the man, Islam does not support a situation where women will be left to live alone, the practice of plural marriage is a panacea.